I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
