the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
