Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
