Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
