if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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