he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
