You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
