in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
