The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
