I wish my penis had an off switch
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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