im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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