I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
