Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need water and some morals
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize