The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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