ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
