dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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