He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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