Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
