Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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