i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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