He uses pillows to masturbate.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
