Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This baby is an asshole
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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