Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize