Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
