Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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