see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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