First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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