Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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