maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
