Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
