i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
