the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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