i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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