that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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