allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
