cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
