butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
