I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
