Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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