Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
