OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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