all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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