so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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