Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
