$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
