At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
