Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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