I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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