How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
