He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
