My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
