Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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