So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
