Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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