He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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