i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
