I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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