so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Found your dick twin last night
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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